Day 8 (Last Day). Scroll for pictures....

Am sitting on the seafront on Saturday in Banyul sur Mer reflecting on a great life experience.

Only one of 30 failed to make it across the Pyrenees - 1000km, 28 cols, a 100 goos. ......... and Tom had succumbed to an eye infection, though tried to keep going in ski goggles. At the start of the week I would have said impossible, but as those of you who have 'climbed' know, a lot of it is mind over matter, and the collective spirit was very strong.

Let me tell you about Sam. She is Assistant Manager of the Pizza Express in Bicester, a diminutive irish mother of two, and signed up to try and conquer her vertigo. Petrified at the top of Bagargui (our first Col, a b*stard) and encouraged by our intrepid cross-dressing guide French Fred, she made it down and on she went, and ended saying it was the greatest week of her life.

However the last day did not go well. We woke to see the Col de Palomeres, which we had just crossed, capped with fresh snow, and the wind was up. We were fuelled by possibly the worst meal we had ever eaten, at the Hexagon Hotel run by Maxine (from Bromley) who was sh*tfaced when we arrived. During the 'fines' Harvey ate a raw egg, including shell. Uurgh.

The plan for the last day was simple - long boozy lunch and cruise last 30k. Executed on lunch, but after a police helicopter intercepted the peloton we were forced off the expressway. Up a 2km climb at 20% (steepest of the week), the 'Col du Sac' (think Marbella housing estate, no way out). I had a six-Stella fuelled sense of humour failure, then hit the coast road and tanked home at 45kph in a train.

Into Banyul at 18.30 (now our longest day - 135km) to be greeted by the Mayor (we have met about ten this week). Ace skier and blogger Warren 'Kubrick' Smith, in filming the finish, took the Devon Loch approach and fell 50 metres from the line, brought down by Lord Relton (a person, not a horse, but see arse below- easily confused).

Symbolically dipped my wheel in the briny (above), and seriously tempted to chuck the whole bike in. But stripped off and in we went, Relton only going in 20% as far as his client. That's agents for you.

The WAGS had arrived and the night went as advertised. All so pumped up (us, not them) the beer/wine/port (another fine)/gin/tequila seemed to have little effect.

Judge 'Zoolander' Hopley presided over the Kangaroo court for the week. Simon 'Headless/Rumpole' Hunter QC prosecuting. Major Jonny Nye MC EPO, defence counsel, had sadly already left so all inevitably found guilty.

And then a BBQ on the beach under (yet another) blue sky and an emotional farewell.

Finally - to all my cycling friends, this is more fun than l'etape, we must do it, or similar........ to my non-cycling friends, on yer bike. Impossible is nothing.

An ambition and dream back in January to raise £100,000 for Bliss, and help premature babies, has turned into the reality of over £350,000. So thanks again for all your support (you amazingly donated over £37,000 of this), which trully inspired me.

Day 7. Fancy Dress Day

Fame at last, my blog is blocked in China. Good judge those commie bstrds.

Last of the mega days. 850km under the belt. Over the huge Port de Pailheres at the start (19km at 9%) and viciously cold at the top - Ventoux type cold.

Then survived blow out on descent. Tyre cut right through but stayed upright. Then more by orienteering skills the Huge one and I led over the second Col. To be fair I think the peloton stopped for coffee when we got lost (which we hadn't, but still got fined for. They had).

Left in a group for last climb, the Col de Jau, and somehow the old boy and I, having kept our powder dry for seven days, gave it all up on this last 10k and staggered over at the front. Radek came third and got the polka dot jersey (don't ask, well ask Fred).

However this meant I avoided smelly shirt (there is only one), ritual humiliation, a 'fine' (alcohol), and having to defend it. So on balance good news. Not here for the glory anyway (is this right? Ed).

We can finally sense the Mediterranean. Very different from the feel back in the west. Less goats, and the cows more manky.

Fancy dress day today. Shoe in as ugly sisters. Got away with wearing mesh stockings as arm warmers. Top tip - they work. Bottled actually starting in the gold lame.

For the true cyclists reading this we should do it, or something similar. Great fun. Having everything organised, and full support, is new and great experience (bit like being Michel).

Day 6

Little to report apart from Derek Zoolander (left) joining us.

Derek and Clive (right) headed west, oddly, on instructions from Criket, our guide (sic). He has the directional sense of Mark Thatcher.

Another 8 hour day. Four mountain passes. Have settled into groundhog days. Ali and Jen, the masseuses, have saved us. Ali has had her fingers deep inside my soft tissue. No pain, no gain.

Day 5

Just over 600km done. 400km to go. 5 days down, 3 to go.

Simon Hunter just doesn't have enough gears, but he did take advice in a Lebanese bike shop.

Rode over into Spain today. Another 8 hours , and for the purists climbed Aspet and passed the memorial to Fabio Casartelli, who died there in 1995. Lovely picnic today. Boiling hot. Can't last, can it?

Day 4: Tourmalet, Aspin, Peyresourde.

Just got out of an ice cold bath, in which I sat eating boiled potatoes and dried figs, drinking a recovery drink that looked brown and tasted grey. Why am I doing this?

I am now sitting in a bar in Bagneres Luchon drinking Heineken. Lawrence is holding a baby and giving an interview to an obscure french radio station. Headless is having a fag.

A goat got very close to me on Aspin, as you can see.

I have been fined (drink a Kummel) for wearing speedos for my massage. Tough.

Marcello (think judge Bruno on Strictly ..) is losing his big toe nail and has superglued it back on.

Another long but beautiful day. Hugo and I avoided 'picnic' and long stops. 'Splash and dash' strategy (recommended) meant we finished about 1.5 hours in front and got the hot water and the massages first. Not sustainable, we will make it I know now.

Half way today which is big psychologoically but weather about to turn we sense.

Great bunch of people and some heroic stuff. 15 years ago I did today in reverse (first etape) and ended up puking by the side of the road on Aspin and out there for 13 hours. Everyone grinding.

Day 3: Aubisque, Soulor,

A proper 'etape' type day. Out there for 8.5 hours climbing Marie Blanque, Aubisque, (the Queen of the Pyrenees ... a bitch in fact), Soulor and a real sod called Spandelles. Photo at the top to prove we did it. Am I alone in thinking he looks like Buzz Lightyear?

Climbed 3300m today in our Nando's peri-knees. LD produced live chicken to claim year's free dining at Nando's.